Victory and revelation

This post will be more of a journal for me this time. I am amazed with what the Lord has revealed to me in this week! I found out that in cutting Wade's medicine in half, that I actually did more than I was supposed to do! He really did have a great week. Basically only one rough day. I believe God is delivering him from this medication! I believe that God has made him normal and I will speak normal over him! He has given my family a new peace and assurance. Thank you, Father! I made some plans with you that I fully intend to keep. Plans that I know You have made for my family. I am reminded of the scripture in the Bible that tells me You have a plan for me, a plan to prosper and not to harm. A plan for a future....I claim it today. I speak peace and assurance in what you have shown me this week. Help me to continue to show this peace to Wade. Please help him as he visits with his father. That is a situation that only you are aware of....what he has to endure. Give him strength to believe in himself as he is there. I know you have something big in store for Wade. I thank you now for what you have done! Halleluiah!

confirmation

Thank you, Father for the confirmation I received today on Wade! I am walking on cloud nine and there is a new confidence in myself and this whole situation.....Thank you for friends that care!

Follow up

Follow up for the last post on weight.....I have only lost 1 pound but I lost 4 1/2 inches! Lean muscle mass weighs more so I am doing great! I am pleased once my friends put it in perspective for me....

On an even more interesting note.......I have made a decision that will upset my child's pediatrician.....I am taking him off his ADHD meds as they are causing soooo many serious side effects. He has become much more aggressive....I am trying the natural approach from Xooma right now. Please, God, let me know I have made the right decision to stand up as an advocate for Wade. Please, I know you led me back to them, I pray this was one of the reasons...

I love you,
Lisha

Weight Loss

God, I struggle with weight loss on a daily basis. I thought this was going to be different. I thought this 5 day jump start would show some encouraging results. So far it has not. I don' t understand.....why do I have to battle this when for others it is so easy and they don't have to worry with health issues that go along with it? It's not like I am eating to my hearts content. I have been making all the right choices....I don't want my assisstance to end. Please dear God, don't leave me now. This is MY storm that I go through. Please see me till the end. I don't want to be an embarrassment to my son.......

Lisha

Finality

Today was Pastor's last Sunday with us.......such a sad day for our church. To sing was one of the most difficult things I have had to do in a long time. I still am struggling with all the why's and how comes. Why does he have to go? Why can people not forgive? Why do others get away with such a judgemental attitude? How come so many have to hurt?

Please, God, send us a pastor that will help us heal...that will be more than what we have lost. Right now, I don't see how anyone can be better than what we had, but You know what is best for us. This will still take a long time to get over, to heal, to forgive those who can not forgive themselves....kind of sounds like the pot calling the kettle black, I guess.

I am learning to forgive, as I know that is what You would want....what Pastor would want....what a true christian needs to do....

Help me keep my eyes on You. To not give up....quit....that is so tempting. Sometimes I just want to go somewhere else so I don't have to see when they are not there anymore.

Please bear with me, Father, as I heal. Help me to not be like those who are judgemental and unforgiving. I love you so much. Please take care of Pastor Tom Johnson and his family as they undertake new and scary things....things they were not ready for at this time. I love them so.

Grieving

God, I am here today because I am struggling to understand why You would want to take our pastor from us. Why do so few rule so many? Why is it that those 2 or 3 always get what they want and nothing ever happens to them? I don't understand. He is such an innocent victim...if he forgives and the other forgives, why not everyone else? Did you not teach us in Your word that forgiveness is the way? Did we not learn that there are no "big" sins or "little" sins? A sin is a sin. Plain and simple. Each day of my life, in church and in work, I will have to look at these people. I am trying so hard to do what You want me to do and love them, but I am really having so much trouble with that.....It hurts too much......I am so angry right now. Please help me Father. I need you now.

Today is a dark and dreary day for our church. The devil is working hard to fight what You have done. Help us, Lord, to recover from this in the way that brings glory and honor to Your name. I love You.

Your servant,
Lisha

Father, Wade had a beautiful service at the local Methodist Church today. He completed Cub Scouts and received his Arrow of Light. Now we are on our way to Boy Scouts! Such a wonderful thing to look forward to!

Then I take a few minutes to reflect on this and I think about how our time on earth is like a Cub Scouts time in the pack. A time to grow and work toward a goal. The goal for them is to achieve the highest rank before moving on to Boy Scouts. Our goal on earth, to grow and learn all we can and work our way to the highest rank WE can achieve, salvation and a place in Heaven with You! What an achievement!

As Wade continues to grow in scouting, may I always remember that I, too, am growing and require constant work on my ranks. Please, Great Scoutmaster, guide me in the path towards Heaven. Help me to be the best "scout" I can be so I can lead others to you!

God, I am trying to take care of myself. I need to be healthy so that I can be there for my child, my grandchildren, my husband, and myself. Help me to have the willpower to stick to a healthy lifestyle. I need to change some really bad habits. Hoping that the next time I mention this topic, there will be good news to share.

Well, the day has been a productive one, God. Made it through the second day of his grounding and I have hung in there. Being a parent that you would have me to be is difficult, especially with my son. Please help me, God to be the parent that is strong and wise. Help me to remember that nothing is too difficult for you, so therefore, it is not difficult for me because I have you in my life. Help me to not look at him as a reflection of his father, but as a separate person who just needs love, teaching and patience. Help me to BE patient with him. We are so much alike!

Thank you for my family. I couldn't have been blessed with a better one.

I love you!

Lisha

How come people from your past come to you 25 years later to tell you they are sorry for breaking your heart and tell you that you were the one who set the bar for the woman they would choose to marry later? I know we were kids, but my heart was really broken then. It was VERY real to me.
Why is it that they tell you how much they had wished they had never let you go, NOW, and not then? Don't get me wrong....I am totally in love with the man I am married to, and to the son I have with the previous one, but maybe if my self esteem was higher and I had been told occasionally that I was worth something so long ago, then maybe I would have never ended up in an abusive marriage for seven years.

Just had to vent with that one.....Thanks for listening to me God.

Love,
Lisha

I am here again, God... saw some words today at work that really made me stop and think.

Oh, Lord, my God, when I in awesome wonder, consider all the world Thy hands have made.
I see the stars. I hear the rolling thunder. Thy power throughout the universe displayed.
Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee. How great Thou art. How great Thou art. Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee. How great Thou art! How great Thou art!!!

When I think of what all You have done, I look at myself and feel ashamed of all the complaints I make so often. I should be taking time out each day to thank You for everything you have blessed me with, for all the joys you have given me and for all the lessons You have me learn. May I not forget who I am...I am the daughter of a King. I am your child. My concerns are Your concerns. My thoughts are Your thoughts. Please remind me, God. Even if it through the things I understand.....singing....music......children.

I love you so much and I stand here humbled by all You do for me and all You have created.

Lisha

Family

Well, here I am again God. Always wondering how I am going to get Wade through to adulthood. I have done all I know to do right as I was growing up, I stayed out of trouble, stayed in church, finished college, did all the things I knew to do. I made a mistake in my first marriage. I know I didn't marry the man you had for me and I paid for that. The question I have is ....why? Why do I have such an angry son? Why does he treat me this way one minute and then turn around and love me the next? Does he not see how this takes its toll on my heart? Why, God, when I left his daddy for the threats on my life and all the verbal abuse, does he seem more like him each day? I thought I took him out of that situation early enough.

In spite of my questions, I can't help but feel such unconditional love for him. He is the greatest thing I ever created and has such talent and is so smart. He is compassionate to others and is very musically talented. No matter how things turn out, I will never stop loving him. I pray that You will keep your hand on him in every situation. Please lead him into the path you have for him. Help me to be patient and remember to turn to you when I need help. I love you with all my heart and thank you so much for letting me ask these questions.

God, I am hoping this will be a good way for me to take the time out of my day to read and talk to You. Please help me to take this opportunity as many times as possible.

I am not ready to go back to work tomorrow. I am tired. I sometimes feel that I need a break from teaching...then I see my students. Please help me to be refreshed tomorrow and be the teacher you created me to be. That is all I can do tonight.

I love you,
Lisha